Alumni Update:

Doug Bailey -- is living in Tallahassee pursuing a Master's degree in Public Administration (all together now, "what a fucking surprise!") at FSU.

Shannon Bain -- lives in Atlanta and works for the Art Department at Emory University. Shannon likes his t-shirts very, very tight.

Derek Davis -- continues to live in Tampa Bay working for Sprint (the lying bastards are screwing me on my July 2001 long distance bill) and driving a BMW M3. He also sincerely believes that Georgia Tech will beat FSU this year.

Matthew Ellis -- living in Brooklyn, working in Manhattan as a bartender and actor, and he is reportedly writing a script of some sort. His stage name is Matthew Elliot.

Andy Fine -- living in Northern Dade County. Andy sold his soul to corporate 'Merica and is working in Boca Raton as an insurance defense attorney.

Teresa Hair -- joined a neo-Catholic, fringe cult and she can be found in Oakland, CA feeding communion wafers to pigeons and squirrels.

Garrett O'Connor -- last I heard, his wife was pregnant but that was back in March 2001. She has probably extricated the thing from her womb by now and Garret should be or will soon be a daddy. I think Garret had also gone back to school at FSU but do not quote me on that.

Kim Richards -- lives in Tampa Bay and she gets paid to figure out whether elementry school kids are crazy. Motto: "I love the Baker Act."

Marianick Simon -- is living in Manhattan working as a tax attorney for Ernst and Young and moonlighting as a swimming mask model.

Mark Thomas -- completed anger management program and finally left Gainesville in July 2001. He is unemployed living in Atlanta. The clients are more discriminating in Atlanta and poor Mark is having a hard time finding work as a male escort.

Damon Thomason -- last seen going to work at Emiliano's in Gainesville.

Everyone else is gay (not that there is anything wrong with that).

The above information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge and belief. If you have verifiable, incontrovertible proof that this information is false or defamatory, good for you.